Goblin Skulls & Shackles

Goblin Songs

We be Licktoads! We make raid!
Put the longshanks to the blade!
Burn them up from feet to head,
Make them hurt, then make them dead!

Cut the parents into ham,
Smush the babies into jam,
All the rest in pot get stewed,
We be Licktoads – you be food!

We Be Goblins
Kicking off Skull & Shackles, Goblin style!

We be Licktoads! We make raid!
Put the longshanks to the blade!
Burn them up from feet to head,
Make them hurt, then make them dead!
Cut the parents into ham,
Smush the babies into jam,
All the rest in pot get stewed,
We be Licktoads – you be food!

The Licktoad tribe just finished a rousing banishment of a goblin now known only as Scribbleface. He committed the heinous crime of writing things down, so the tribe ran him off, took his stuff, and burned down his house using fireworks they found within. As they embers cooled, the PCs were called to a private audience with Chief Gutwad. The Chief spoke to the PCs directly, proving to them that they were strong and powerful goblins for withstanding the awesome power of his voice (though not as powerful as himself, of course…and maybe not as powerful his major domo, Slorb, either). Because they’re so strong and powerful, he bade them to go into the swamp following a map they found in Scribbleface’s hut. Follow the map and retrieve the rest of Scribbleface’s fireworks stash. He also told them if they found any dogs, make them dead. Any humans, make them dead! Any horses, make them dead. And if they find Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, maybe they should run. Before they left, though, there was the feast!

The feast was held to help burn off any remaining bad luck caused by Scribbleface’s heresies. A great bonfire was built out of the remains of Scribbleface’s hut. Food, fermented cider apples, and challenging dares were the order of the evening. Members of the Licktoad tribe heckled the PCs, daring them to very acts of foolishness, and while no one was able to dance with Squealy Nord, Spack Jarrow was able to eat a whole bag of bull slugs really quick (and didn’t even get sick doing so!), Brodo survived the Rusty Earbiter without losing any bits, and Garagornne successfully Hid so she wouldn’t Get Clubbed. For these impressive feats of derring-do, Chief Gutwad granted them the use of several items from his personal stash: Gorge of Gluttons (a Dogslicer +1, Horse Bane), the Chief’s Personal Very Useful Robe That Is Useful (Robe of Useful Items w/a three-legged turtle, a ladder, & a bullhorn), and a Ring That Lets You Climb Real Good (Ring of Climbing). He told them they could use them, but better return them, or else!

In the morning, they headed off into Brinestump Marsh. Fortunately, they were suffering no ill effects from neither the fermented cider apples nor the bull slugs. Otherwise, they might have walked right into the Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many’s webs! They noticed the webs and managed to get the drop on the spider, despite Brodo’s feelings that they should NOT engage the spider. Fortunately, Lotslegs’s reputation was somewhat inflated and they were able to easily dispatch the nasty beast. They followed tracks back to her lair and looted goblin and human bodies within, gaining many new shiny objects, some old candy, and a few potions, as well!

They continued following the map until they found an old shipwreck surrounded by a rickety fence. According to the map (which Garagornne noted was NOT to scale; they had walked way more than the length of her first knuckle). Brodo climbed up a tree while Garagornne and Ent snuck around the fence to the far side, and Spack Jarrow climbed the fence near the tree Brodo was climbing. Garagornne and Ent found the entrance to the makeshift compound, where a nasty horse awaited them! The horse was no match for Ent’s musket and Garagornne’s bow and fell quickly. They climbed the gangplank, dislodging a wasp’s nest. Two dogs chained to a mast started barking.

The battle was joined! The dogs proved tougher than the horse and during the fight, another goblin with a giant frog animal companion and dog emerged. Spack Jarrow recognized her as the vile and wicked Vorka! She screamed obscenities at them, threatening to suck their eyes out through their noses (and other obscene things with their skulls after gouging out their eyes). She walked up the second mast and summoned a swarm of spiders to hinder Garagornne. Brodo charged across the rigging, knocking Vorka off the mast (bull rush, FTW!). The other goblins fell upon her and cut her to pieces. They killed her little (not so little, they were goblin-sized) dogs, too! The frog tried to flee, it’s master dead, but was cut down, mid hop.

Naturally, they looted the ship, found the fireworks, and set fire to the wreckage (just in case). They returned to the village, hailed as heroes! Chief Gutwad offered the hand of his daughter, fearsomely corpulent and ferociously lusty Gupy Wartbits, to Brodo Faggins, made Ent Cleastwood the Head Village Watcher, made Spack Jarrow the Overseer of Village Stabbings, and made Garagornne the Boss of Big Fire.

And there was much rejoicing.

Too much rejoicing…a booze cart ridden by a human was raided and things got fuzzy after that. The PCs have vague recollections of being caged and carted away…but to where? Why was the world rocking? And did they remember to give the chief his magical items back?

The Wormwood Mutiny, Part 1

During a night of drunken revelry in celebration of their recovery of the fireworks for the tribe, the goblins decided they needed more booze. Fortunately, a human was driving a cart through their swamp and was good enough to flee when they attacked. The booze flowed freely before they returned to their village.

When the Licktoad goblins awoke, their heads pounded and the room swayed. Cruel mans kicked them out of beds and the goblins finally realized they were not back in their village after all. They were brought up onto the deck of a ship far away from any land they could see. Several others joined them on deck amidst the working sailors; apparently, the goblins were not the only ones press-ganged onto this ship. A large brute of a man stood on the poop deck and addressed the crew. He was Captain Barnabas Harrigan of the Wormwood and they were all now part of his crew. He explained the only rule they needed to remember: Don’t talk to him, and instructed his First Mate Mr. Plugg and the bosun Mr. Scourge to put everybody to work.

Garagornne “volunteered” to be the Cook’s Mate by acknowledging that she could cook, while Spack Jarrow impressed them with his ability to navigate the rigging and was assigned to be a rigger. Ent Cleastwood and Brodo Faggins were assigned as deckswabs. Curiously, a priestess of Besmara, Sandara Quinn, also “volunteered” to be part of the Wormwood’s crew and befriended fellow Bemaran Spack Jarrow.

The first day’s activities were capped with the keel hauling of Jakes Magpie, who was caught stealing from the Quartermaster, Cut-Throat Grok. When the keel hauling was finished, Jakes Magpie was dumped overboard for the sharks. The pirates had their dinner, their rum ration and retired for the evening.

Day two began with a group of four human pirates blocking the way out of the hold, claiming they needed to show the goblins who was in control. Before the fight could start, Ent Cleastwood threw a lantern at the men, shattered it and setting part of the hold on fire. The crew came together to fight the blaze, putting it out before it could cause serious damage. They captured Ent Cleastwood and brought him before Mr. Scourge and the Captain for punishment. It was the word of the goblins against six humans, so they sentenced Ent Cleastwood to a day in the sweatbox because he was new; the next time he would be keel hauled for doing something that stupid.

While Ent Cleastwood was in the sweatbox, the rest of the crew went about their duties and the Lick Toad goblins worked on befriending some of the crew and tried to figure out how to get their possessions back. By the third day, Brodo Faggins learned where their possessions were and who held the key. Despite being impaled by a harpoon that he failed to detect while picking the lock to the armory, they pressed on. After healing from the impalement, Brodo stole the key from the drunken Quartermaster, Cut-Throat Grok, and the goblins took their items. They cleaned out the locker that held their gear and stashed all the other ill-gotten booty in the duffle of the ringleader of the humans who tried to start a fight with them the previous day. It was only a matter of time until the theft was discovered….

The Wormwood Mutiny, part 2
Savin' Friends, Framin' Enemies

The Licktoads were awakened by the morning bells and, with the rest of the day crew, ordered to get to work. They went about their assigned duties until around mid-day when Mister Plugg called them together on the main deck. Near him, young Jack Scrimshaw was nursing a nasty leg wound. Mister Plugg ordered the goblins to go do the sort of thing they were brought on board for: go down into the bilge and kill the giant rats that attacked Jack Scrimshaw. Brodo Faggins was eager for the opportunity to acquire more free food and the rest followed. They were joined by another Licktoad Goblin, Sean Dook Lasard. The bilge was tight and partially flooded with foul, brackish water. Half-a-dozen dog-sized, vicious rats swam and moved in to attack once the goblins splashed down into the bilge. They made short work of the dire rats, though a few of them gave Ent Cleastwood some nasty bites. Once all the rats were dead, they scrounged through the filthy water and found several long-forgotten weapons. They were allowed to keep what they found and Mister Plugg was surprised by their success and told them to get back to work once they emerged from the bilge.

After the rest of their daily duties were discharged, Brodo Faggins took their bilge booty to bargain with Cut-Throat Grok. Brodo Faggins wished to procure Rosie’s fiddle. To Cut-Throat Grok’s surprise, the locker containing the fiddle (along with all the other items procured from the new deckhands) was empty! The Wormwood officers called all hands on deck while they searched the crew’s duffles. The stolen goods were discovered just where they were planted and the crewmember “responsible” for the theft was hauled before the Captain and thrown into the sweatbox, much to the disappointment of the Licktoad goblins, who hoped he would be keel hauled.

The next couple of days were filled with mundane activities. The Wormwood sailed on. One night, Mister Plugg called everyone on deck. Standing there, was Owlbear Hartshorn. Mister Plugg offered 100 gp to the crew member who could beat the Owlbear in an unarmed fight. The crew seemed reluctant to engage, but Spack Jarrow was not deterred. He launched himself at the big human, fighting with tooth and nail. Though Owlbear got in a hit or two and Mister Plugg “helped” the human by tossing him a club, the fight was decidedly one-sided with Spack Jarrow emerging victorious and claiming the 100 gp for himself, along with a healthy dose of respect from most of the rest of the crew. Mister Plugg still hates you, though.

Especially YOU.

More time. More sailing. More ship board duties. The weather took a turn for the worse. Then, a storm.

The crew struggled to keep the ship together as the ship was tossed by gale-force winds and waves. One wave washed Sandara Quinn overboard, but she was quickly rescued by a well-aimed rope thrown by Brodo Faggins. When the storm passed, everyone was put back to work repairing the rigging and sails.

The Wormwood sailed on, her destination known only to the officers who weren’t talking to the Licktoad goblins.

The Wormwood Mutiny, part 3
Crabbin' & Grapplin'

With the Wormwood secure after the storm, the ship sailed onward, toward the Slithering Coast. After a few more days of shipboard life and daily duties of drudgery, the waters became shallow as the ship approached a reef. Mister Plugg pulled the Licktoads from their duties, along with Rosie Cusswell. He explained that the Captain fancied crab for dinner. He gave them four crabpots and directed them to the reef ahead.

Unfortunately, Rosie could not swim, so she was stuck treading water and trying to spot crabs through the clear water of the reef. Spack Jarrow, Garagornne, Sean Dook Lasard, and Brodo Faggins easily filled two of the pots. As they prepared to embark upon their third dive to capture crabs, two odd creatures shot out of the reef toward them. The creatures looked like an aberrant cross between a lobster and an eel and aggressively snapped at the goblins with tooth-filled maws and cruelly barbed claws.

With Ent Cleastwood’s help, they defeated the reefclaws. The claws from the crabby beasts filled the other two pots. Despite themselves, the officers were impressed and gifted the Licktoads with a Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds for their troubles, then ordered them back to work.

The next day, the Licktoads were relieved of their duties and assigned to boarding training with the _Wormwood_’s Gunnery Master, Riaris Krine. She took the Licktoads out into the _Wormwood_’s Jolly Boat with a couple of grappling hooks. The Licktoads were instructed to throw the hook to the Wormwood, then shimmy across the rope to the ship, as they would if they were engaged in combat with another vessel. To make things interesting, and in the interests of providing a realistic experience, four crewmembers would throw things to repel the boarders. Several crewmembers were all too eager to throw things at the Licktoad goblins without fear of reprisals.

Spack Jarrow and Garagornne quickly shimmied across the rope and back to the Wormwood, avoiding nearly all the debris thrown at them. Sean Dook Lasard took several hits, but made it back on his first try also. Brodo Faggins was not so lucky and lost his grip after being pelted several times, falling into the water. He failed again on his second try and gave up on climbing for his third try, simply using his skill at acrobatics to walk across the rope, dodging the objects thrown by the other sailors. Ent Cleastwood was not so lucky. Between being pelted and having an attack of the clumsies, he failed so frequently that Riaris Krine gave up on him and ordered him back into the Jolly Boat. She took him back to the Wormwood and brought Rosie Cusswell, Sandara Quinn and the rest of the new “recruits” back out for their practice.

The Wormwood sailed on. Scuttlebutt was with the new crew now trained, they were looking for prey upon the high seas of Golarion….

The Wormwood Mutiny, part 4
We Be Pirates!

“The Poop Deck is the one with the aft hole.” – words of wisdom from “Captain” Spack Jarrow, goblin pirate.

With the boarding training complete and the Wormwood on the prowl, the crew were put back to work. Mister Plugg seemed to take particular interest in making sure the goblins got the worst jobs on the ship. After a day or two of this, he decided the goblins mistakenly referred to as “Sean Dook Lasard,” actually Shahn Dook Pizzard, needed to help out in the bilge with two other sailors. He and Master Scourge made a point of searching him for concealed weapons, but since he cleverly attached a mop head to the end of his quarterstaff, they were none the wiser.

While Shahn Dook worked the bilge pump, he noticed the other two sailors were concealing weapons. One of the sailors accused the goblin of slacking off and the other maneuvered behind him, drawing his weapon. Shahn Dook was prepared for treachery, however, and used his druidic magic to summon a magical shillelagh, with which he made short work of the two humans assaulting him. He took the hand axes the humans had and tried to make their wounds appear as though they turned on each other. Mister Plugg was incensed and accused the goblin of murder. And for that, there was only one punishment: a day in the sweatbox followed by keel hauling.

The next day proved to be lucky for Shahn Dook Pizzard, though, as sails were spotted on the horizon and after a brief period, the Wormwood began its pursuit. Shahn Dook was released from the sweatbox as the ship would need all hands for the inevitable boarding action. The ship in the distance was slower than the Wormwood and by the next day, they were hard astern, ready to engage. Captain Harrigan ordered half-a-dozen pigs slaughtered and thrown into the water.

The Gunnery Master, Riaris Krine, took the goblins aside and gave them their orders for the upcoming battle. They were responsible for securing the sterncastle and the aft dinghies; no one was to leave the ship. As the ships closed and the arrows and crossbow bolts began to fly, Shahn Dook leapt overboard and swam to the other ship, Man’s Promise, sharks attracted by the chumming in hot pursuit. The rest of the goblins waited until the ship was in range and threw their grappling hooks. The battle was joined!

The goblins, Shahn Dook included (he managed to avoid the sharks out for blood), climbed onto the sterncastle. They engaged the crew manning the wheel as the rest of the _Wormwood_’s crew made their way onto the ship. The goblins proved formidable opponents and the crew of Man’s Promise offered little in the way of challenge for the Wormwood Pirates. After seeing Captain Harrigan walking around with their captain’s heart in his hands, they surrendered. Captain Harrigan took Man’s Promise as a prize and offered the surviving crew a choice: join his crew or die. To emphasize his point, he grabbed one of the defeated sailors and threw her overboard to the sharks. Her screams were incentive enough and the remaining crew of Man’s Promise joined the Wormwood.

Mister Plugg and Master Scourge were given Man’s Promise to sail to Port Peril to sell. A skeleton crew was selection to crew the ship: Shahn Dook Pizzard, Garagornne, Ent Cleastwood, Brodo Faggins, and Spack Jarrow were among those selected. Of the officers, only “Fishguts” Kroop was sent along. They prepped Man’s Promise to make way as the Wormwood went on her way. Man’s Promise followed, under stricter rules than the crew was used to. No one was allowed above deck in the evenings, there was no grog, no gambling, and no singing. When the Wormwood disappeared over the horizon, Mister Plugg ordered a new course, one that was not on the way to Port Peril….

The Wormwood Mutiny, part 5
Sneaksy, Tricksy, Murderers!

As Man’s Promise continued its course away from that ordered by the Wormwood’s captain, whispers circulated among the crew. Fishguts Kroop speculated that Mr. Plugg and Master Scourge could be taking Man’s Promise to Rickety Squibs, a dry dock used by pirates to refit their ships to change the lines and silhouettes. The only reason they’d be going against Captain Harrigan’s orders by going there was to set themselves up as independent pirates; Kroop thought they might be trying to make a name for themselves.

While it seemed reasonable to some of the other humans, the goblins weren’t convinced. They did know, however, whatever Mr. Plugg’s and Master Scourge’s purpose was, they still hated the goblins (the feeling was mutual). With a skeleton crew and no Wormwood in sight, it seemed the time to make some changes had come.

Brodo Faggins, Spack Jarrow, and Sandara Quinn moved around the crew as they slept, locked below decks, while Ent Cleastwood and Garagornne kept a sharp eye out. They spent the evening garnering support among the crew, killing two of the former Wormwood crew who seemed to support Mr. Plugg and Master Scourge, or at least, who failed to show enthusiasm for replacing them.

Brodo Faggins picked the locks keeping them in the hold and sneaked up to the main deck. The rest of the crew were asleep as Man’s Promise drifted. With a skeleton crew, there weren’t enough to spread around to multiple shifts. Brodo, Garagornne, and Ent sneaked into the Captain’s cabin while Spack Jarrow and the rest of the loyal crew waited for the signal.

Mr. Plugg and Master Scourge were both asleep, confident in the locks’ ability to keep the crew where they put them. Mr. Plugg was the first to learn the folly of his ways as Brodo opened his throat. So swift was Brodo’s attack, Master Scourge’s sleep was not disturbed. He too, fell to a blade in the dark.

After seeing how quickly and easily the two feared men were dispatched, the former Wormwood crew had no heart for a fight. The goblins had already shown themselves to be as treacherous and vicious as any black-hearted pirate on Golarion’s seas, anyway. The Man’s Promise now sailed under a new captain, Captain Spack Jarrow. Brodo Faggins was made 1st Mate, Ent Cleastwood was 2nd Mate. Garagornne was appointed to be the new Bo’sun, and Shahn Dook Pizzard would be the Bo’sun’s mate.

Fishguts Kroop approached his new captain with the suggestion that perhaps they take Mr. Plugg’s & Master Scourge’s plan to heart and sail for Rickety Squibs. Captain Harrigan would know the lines of his prize ship, so if the goblins wanted to keep her, they would need a refit…

The Wormwood Mutiny, part 6
Ship's Business & Storms on the High Seas!

After a successful mutiny, the Licktoad goblins were now in possession of their own ship! Discussion about crew positions took place, as well as discussions on what to re-name Man’s Promise. Spack Jarrow, who so often insisted on being called Captain Spack Jarrow was named captain by acclimation. Brodo Faggins became his 1st Mate. Ent Cleastwood was assigned as Gunnery Master. Garagornne became the Bo’sun and Ship’s Surgeon/Carpenter. Shahn Dook Pizzard became the Sailing Master. Fishguts Kroop remained ship’s cook.

As they wrapped up their discussion on positions and names, a storm came upon the ship. With a skeleton crew made smaller by the mutiny, it was difficult to keep control of Man’s Promise as she was battered and tossed by the wind and waves. The crew did their best to hold her together throughout the night. Creatures from the depths took advantage of the storm and climbed onto the deck from the sea, grindylows, determined to take down the crew of Man’s Promise. They were no match for the seasoned crew of goblins and sailors.

The next morning, when the storm cleared away, three crew members were discovered missing. Not just swept overboard during the storm, but taken, presumably by unseen grindylows during the choas. Also, there was an island looming dangerously close. So close, in fact, Man’s Promise ran aground on a nearby reef. A quick spell from the friendly shipboard druid, Shahn Dook Pizzard and the damage was repaired, but it still left the problem of the missing crew members. if it had been anyone but Sandara Quinn, upon whom Captain Spack Jarrow had a crush, they would have been abandoned to their fate.

The officers took one of the small boats from Man’s Promise and went to the island. The investigated an abandoned village of mud huts and found a trail leading into a swamp. A few giant frog attacks later, and they entered a clearing with a lone tree. A tent covered the tree, creating a make-shift shelter, but wait awaited them was less than hospitable. Three ghouls attacked, and were quickly put down by the power of Besmara. The Licktoads stopped a moment to consider their next course….

The Wormwood Mutiny, part 7
Rescuing the Crew

When we last left our intrepid goblin pirates, they had just defeated a trio of nasty, ghoulettes. They searched the mock boudoir and found some booty to add to their meager loot pile, but more importantly, they found tracks indicating someone or something moved past the ghouls and into a nearby cave. Shahn Dook Pizzard volunteered to make sure the crew wasn’t absconding with the ship while the rest of the group entered the cave.

The cave was partially flooded. The water sloshed up around the goblins’ knees. In the dank dark, the stench of death and decay permeated the air. Since the monkey goblins couldn’t see well in the dark, Spack Jarrow cast light upon his shield. In a small nook, there was some sort of construction, a shrine, perhaps. Upon it, a familiar hat: Sandara Quinn’s tricorn. Four grindylows rose from hidden nooks in the water to attack the interlopers in their lair. The goblins made short work of them and pressed on.

Brodo Faggins set off a hidden tripwire under the water and narrowly avoided the spiked iron grate that fell from its concealment on the ceiling. The ruckus gained the attention of three lacedons. They were not as easily defeated as the grindylows, but ultimately, the goblins were victorious. Behind a locked cage door, they found their missing crewmates, chained to stalagmites. They seemed no worse for the wear, except for Fishguts Kroop. The lacedons had been dining on one of his ample legs and he was near death. Garagornne thought she could fashion a peg leg to replace the missing limb once they returned to the ship. They searched the lacedons for treasure and returned to Man’s Promise.

The crew was ready to sail when they returned and the goblin-led pirates made way for Rickety Squibs….

Raiders of the Fever Sea, part 1
Rickety Squibs

After two days of hard sailing, and a near-bout of Ghoul Fever for Captain Spack Jarrow, Man’s Promise arrived at Rickety Squibs. A longboat rowed out to meet them as they entered the harbor. Once it was established the goblins weren’t there for raiding, negotiations began for the squibbing of the ship. Squibbing involves altering the ship’s lines so that it looks different, yet retains the same capabilities. Rickety Hake doesn’t care who the ship is crewed by, as long as they can pay. And even if they can’t, he’s willing to take a percentage until the work is done. And thus was the agreement the goblins entered into with Rickety Hake: he gets 1/3rd of their plunder, paid monthly, until their debt is paid, plus 500 pieces of gold for a wider rudder to improve maneuverability.

Rickety’s laborers helped secure the ship in drydock and work began. Garagornne befriend a goblin dog that wandered into the settlement and calmed him down before the workers were able to kill him. She called him “Dimly.” The goblins and crew spent a day in the Commons drinking, carousing, and generally telling tales of their exploits, while the hammering, sawing, and cursing continued around their ship non-stop. Despite themselves, Rickety’s workers were impressed by the goblin pirates and invited them down to the beach for some drinking and to play Nine Pin. As they were complaining about the oppressive heat and dryness associated with the drought, despite the air’s humidity, one of the workers was dragged into the water by an aggressive water naga. Once she was done eating him, she turned her attentions to the goblins.

The goblins did not hesitate to wade into the fray and despite the naga’s ferocity, defeated her. Sadly, the worker was not among the living after the battle and Shahn Dook Pizzard and Brodo Faggins both were suffering from the naga’s virulent poison. They tended to their wounded as they contemplated what could have driven the naga from her usual hunting ground….


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